LOLOLOLOL CAVE STORY IS AWESOME!!!!
NO RESERVATIONS
Age 29, Male
Bitchy Pessimist
Just Fucking Google It
Earth is full. Go home.
Joined on 11/23/08
- Level:
- 14
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- 2,030 / 2,180
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- 29,872
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- 5.61 votes
- Rank:
- Scout
- Global Rank:
- 38,287
- Blams:
- 33
- Saves:
- 208
- B/P Bonus:
- 4%
- Whistle:
- Normal
- Medals:
- 334
Comments
HUZZAH!!!!
Can I have some of this strange substance which seems to be affecting your judgement on what people want to read?
GIMME SUM PLZ I CANT HANDEL THE STRES IM GONA KILL MYSELF NAO
EAT A CACTUS
GET ALOE
"I'm Stanley of the Yard and I want my oats!" roared Detective Chief Inspector Stanley Stanley of Scotland Yard, reaching for Maud's tits and pursing his lips. "I'll not let you leave the murder room, Maud, my girl, until this copper's clopper's been flopped-up and jizzed-out thanks to your expert skills in the underpant department, yes?"
Maud, thanking the God of Illicit Sex that she'd 'ad a bath that morning, let out a cavalcade of ecstatic grunts, grasping the Chief Inspector's bulging meat-popper and sticking it where the sun don't shine. "Uuuur, Chief Inspector," she harrumphed, wiping her feminine gloss up the wall wot had got on her hand when she'd dabbed up a finger to test if the chute was ready for action, "Your whisperin' manhood makes my front bottom fart with pleasurables. I'm shakin, sir! Shakin with an infectious lust!"
An amount of liquid emptied out of Maud and stained the carpet. The inspector decided it was about time Maud was introduced to the love that dare not speak its name. So he bummed her.
"How d'ye like that bumming then?" the detective roared, bumming away to his heart's desire. "Oh, sir!" Maud squealed, feeling a bacon double cheeseburger slide from her passage and slither down the inspector's legs, "That's the most erotic thing what's ever happened to me in the realm of the sexual senses. I'm in paradise, sir! A magical paradise of unearthly delights as you hammer your bulbous, fifty-five year old pump-trumpet up my seventy-seven year old fudge factory! Not since Wallace, God rest 'is mortal soul, accidentally slipped it up my wrong 'un on the night Ted Heath announced the Three Day Week, have I felt the brutal force of a man's ultimate contempt for a woman! Take me! Take my back-pipe while the stitches from my triple hernia operation still hold!"
"BY CHRIST!" bellowed Stanley, "I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SODOMISE AN OLD WOMAN!"
Later, as they lay in the warm afterglow of dirty coitus, frantically swallowing angina pills and programming the emergency services into speed-dial, the inspector turned to Maud and said, "I think I love you, Maud. I think I want to do all that again, but this time finish off in your face with your teeth out, if that's alright? Maud?"
But Maud was dead. The lust that hides behind the shadows had finished her off (as had the ruptured bowel). The inspector put his head in his hands and wept.
Then he had another go on her.
FINE STORY, SIRE.
BUT MORE ORIGINALITY, PLEEZ
I iz not iriginal
WHAT
FullMoonClock
What?
RandomExploit
Aloe vera, also known as the Medicinal Aloe, is a species of succulent plant that probably originated in northern Africa. The species does not have any naturally occurring populations, although closely related Aloes do occur in northern Africa. Aloe vera grows in tropical climates and is widely distributed in Africa, Asia and other tropical areas. The species is frequently cited as being used in herbal medicine. It is mentioned in the New Testament (John 19:39-40 And there came also Nicodemus, which at the first came to Jesus by night, and brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes... ). However, it is unclear whether the aloes described in the Bible are derived from A. vera. Extracts from A. vera are widely used in cosmetics and alternative medicine, being marketed as having rejuvenating, healing, and soothing properties. There have been many scientific studies of the use aloe vera, some of it conflicting. Despite these limitations, there is some preliminary evidence that A. vera extracts may be useful in the treatment of diabetes and elevated blood lipids in humans. These positive effects are thought to be due to the presence of compounds such as polysaccharides, mannans, anthraquinones and lectins.